A while back Brooks and I found ourselves realizing we have had NO TIME for each other. With a long, busy work schedule for Brooks and the craziness of 3 kids as well as adjusting to life with 3 kids... we seemed to be in survival mode throughout every evening, thus causing us to really miss each other. Does that make sense? Our conversations were either constantly being interrupted or the entire time at dinner was spent trying to
Needless to say, we wanted to spend genuine, quality, uninterrupted time together that had a purpose and wasn't centered around kids and didn't require a minimum time frame because "someone" had to go to bed 15 minutes after the kids went down (to help accommodate waking up at 4am).
Sooooooo..... we started a date night, otherwise known to us as OPERATION 0520 (our anniversary is May 20). We were being goofy one night when we started discussing options and brainstorming ways for us to "get away" and just be together, thus the title. We really hadn't been having date nights since going out to dinner without the kids just wasn't an easy thing to do every single week and we were both over making excuses for the fact that we live here and didn't have options for entertainment or variety. We also really wanted the chance to gain similar interests-- Brooks loves playing games and I like watching movies. So, we came up with a list of activities that are important/enjoyable to both of us. We categorized them to make it even easier to brainstorm more fun things to do. Within 20 minutes, we had a long list. We thought about things we could do around the house or around the compound. We figured out activities we'd need a babysitter for. We also thought about logistical things to do together (plan our future home, vacations, discuss future goals and dreams). We were both impressed with how much we came up with that was manageable, doable, and would make our OP 0520 nights a success!
To go along with our long list of activities, we also came up with a few rules to help make it an even BIGGER success. I know it might sound corny or cheesy that we made up rules, but we really wanted this to work and if we both knew one another's expectations, we could get more out of the time we spend together!
Rule #1: OPERATION 0520 is Priority #1. NOTHING gets in the way of it. Nothing can cancel it.
Rule #2: Be ready for a fun night, every Sunday! Starts at 8:00pm SHARP!
Rule #3: No objections, just smiles! We take turns each Sunday picking/planning the evening. So, if I choose to watch a movie, Brooks can't object, but rather enjoy it!
Rule #4: NO KIDS!
Rule #5: Can't be chores or "to dos"!!! In other words, we're not going to spend our time cleaning the kitchen or finishing house projects we didn't get to.
We even keep a "log" if you will of what all we've done every week so that we keep things a variety. At the end of each date, we rate our activity and talk about if we liked it or how it allowed conversation, whether it was easy, fun, simple, etc. We're allowed to be honest about it and respect one anothers feelings. We both agreed it'd be pointless to pick activities over and over again that just weren't "that great". We've been doing OPERATION 0520 for almost 2 months, weekly and it's been AWESOME. We've loved spending that genuine time together and look forward to it each week. Sometimes, we try to surprise the other one with the activity, making for more fun!! Brooks and I have both said we kinda get giddy on Sundays thinking about our date and what we're going to do! Just like we use to when we were dating!
Just a few ideas of things we've done so far:
- dance on the balcony, under the stars, to Frank Sinatra
- play Battleship and Dominoes,
- went out to eat to a restaurant
- played tennis (got a baby sitter while the kids were sleeping)
- planned our upcoming vacations
This has been a great way to help keep our marriage strong, to gain interests in the same things, and to just enjoy one another!! Try it with your hubby sometime!!
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