I've found myself wondering for days, wait, actually weeks months on how to write this blog. I've asked close friends and a few family members, "should I share this on my blog?" I've gone back and forth with all the what if's? all the misinterpretations that could arise. All of the the questions that might be asked and really searched myself as to whether or not I'm ready and prepared to open this up to others.
I found myself in a place of excitement and hopefulness. I found my mind thinking of how to educate others and inform others of this "arena" if you will.
So I find myself more and more with a desire to share our news because at some point it will get out. At some point there will be lots of questions. At some point there will be lots of assumptions. Prayerfully, there will be lots of prayer warriors willing to take this journey with us and be a support to us.
Having said that....
I am becoming a gestational carrier.
In other words, a surrogate. If you are unsure what that means... basically, I am offering up my body to a family who has a desire to have a child of their own, but for one reason or another are unable to carry that child themselves, and so I will.
Now, before your mind gets filled with a 1000 thoughts, your eyebrows raise at the screen, and you mouth or speak out loud the words, "what in the world?" I'd invite you to read this post and those to come to get a glimpse of my heart with this experience, attempt to recognize where we're coming from and what our purpose and hope is, learn a little about how to walk through this with us, as well as gain an understanding of what this journey will somewhat be like. I'd also like to invite you to pray. Pray for health- not just for myself, but for the pregnancy. Pray for our intended parents. Pray for their sweet baby or babies that will come about through this.
Our story began almost 3 years ago. Brooklyn was born (2012) and we were experiencing life events that affected those close to us and I remember sitting at our dining room table in Saudi when the thought first popped up in my head, "What if I had a baby for them?" Now, at the time, emotions were flaring, we had an infant ourselves, and my mind was shocked that the thought occurred to me, but my heart felt this sense of peace. I let it sit there for months and kept it to myself. Over time, I remember through various conversations and prayer times and other means the thought never left, "what if I had a baby for someone?" I spent time praying about it. I tried pushing it out of my mind. I wondered what that would look like. How that would affect me, Brooks, our kids, our family, our life. But still, I kept it to myself.
I remember the media began reporting stories of various celebrities who used surrogates and realized this is real and it is something people do. I found myself, unintentionally, seeing story after story of families who were blessed with a baby via surrogacy and it always intrigued me. Anytime the thought or idea presented itself I just prayed about it. "Lord, what does this mean? What are you trying to show me?" Over time, my prayer became, "Lord, reveal yourself to me in this! Is this something you would have for me? for us?"
I spent almost a year praying over this idea, thinking of what it would look like, trying to picture myself in it, thinking of this "other family" and what they were enduring at that same time. At this point, I realized that the idea wasn't going away. I found myself thinking of it often and feeling more and more at peace and ease with the idea. One day, it clicked and I realized, "oh my goodness, what if I'm actually suppose to do this?"
At Christmas 2012, almost 11 months since the thought first popped into my head Brooks and I were driving and I told him I needed to tell him something, but I wanted him to hear me out first before he responded, judged, or dismissed me. In that moment, I still remember where we were driving, I poured out my heart to him. I told him every thought I had, every prayer I prayed, my vision and idea of this, I expressed all the uncertainty that came with it, all the what if's of my own, and then all the excitement and hope I felt with it.
I watched his face carefully looking for ANYTHING that would reveal his thoughts. I know Brooks well enough that you have to give him time to process things so I was prepared for the "waiting". He listened and even asked a few questions. I was thankful he saw my heart and was eager to learn the part of this journey I had already taken semi by myself the past year.
Within minutes of me finishing the conversation he turned to me and said, "Lindsey, I think this is amazing and I love the idea!" I sat there in shock actually filled with relief because now I wasn't alone in this, but still amazed that the Lord took a desire of my heart and within minutes it became a desire of my husbands! We both truly believe that was from the Lord.
From then on we talked and talked and talked... "what does this mean? what does this look like? Is there someone we know we can go through this with? when do we want to do this? (mind you at this point the kids were 4 years old, almost 2 years old, and an almost 1 year old).
We felt like the best thing to do was spend a year praying together over this. Researching it. Learning the ins and outs of surrogacy. Learning what it entails, the process, aspects of the good, bad, and ugly. We decided we would seek counsel, we searched the bible for direction, we read up on any and every blog we could find. I learned about the medical process. I watched E! Giuliana and Bill's story. We grasped for every thing we could to learn and become familiar with surrogacy. We prayed A LOT. We prayed for wisdom, guidance, peace, direction, clarity. We prayed for the Lord's timing and ultimately came to a place of if this was merely to be obedient to the Lord's calling, then that's what we were going to do. In our hearts and together we said YES to this process and handed it over to the Lord, summer 2013.
At that time, we finally went to our parents and shared what was on our hearts. At this stage for us, it wasn't whether or not should we, but instead, we are going to do this and we want you to be apart of our journey. After the initial shock wore off on all our parents, ultimately we were embraced with support and love as we began a new phase of this journey.
Fast forward another 10 months (April 2014).... we felt it was time to get the process started. Brooklyn was now 2 years old and we were extremely confident that our family was complete, which made our decision to make the surrogacy happen. I researched and researched agencies, attorneys, programs searching for any that lined up with our biblical standards and our stance of pro-life among other things.
We were put in touch with a private attorney who specializes in Surrogacy in the Woodlands through a mutual friend. We went through the process of applying, interviews, and ultimately accepted into this program. WOW. It was finally happening and we COULD NOT believe it. Within a week of my application being accepted we got a call saying their was a couple who would like our profile. We eventually spoke on the phone and after a few days of praying, just felt like this wasn't the couple for us so we declined going any further.
A few things happened post this decision that we received CLEAR confirmation that we needed to sever ties with this attorney and remove ourselves from her program.
We had received counsel from our current pastor about making sure we went into covenant/contract with like minded people and through that experience we realized we were NOT like minded with the attorney and her business. And that was okay. Lesson learned before we got too deep into the process.
Then, we went back to the drawing board. At this point, we found out about a close friend who herself used an agency in Houston that she connected us with. We were a little hesitant from our previous experience, but also knew we were being obedient and needed to take a step of faith and just trust that the Lord would ALWAYS reveal himself to us and we would allow him to direct who we worked with and what agency we were apart of.
Once again, we went through an application process, we were interviewed, we did everything under the sun you could possibly imagine to show ourselves, and in the end we were accepted into this program.
Now, what you may not know about surrogacy is there are MANY aspects of this that could easily go against core beliefs so we made sure to make ourselves, our beliefs, and our stance known from the beginning regarding choosing life, looking for a heterosexual couple who preferably were believers, and so on. The agency was very upfront with us and shared that while we were an ideal couple for any intended parents to choose from, because of the strict restrictions of who we would be willing to go into contract with and the unwavering stance of NO TERMINATION WHATSOEVER, it would be extremely difficult to match us. We were okay with that. We truly believed that if this is something the Lord has called us to there will be that couple who values life the same way we do, who lives their lives according to God's word and if it meant being in their database for months or years, we were content with that. Brooks and I believe that no part of this is our doing, rather the Lord's work being done through us and we are willing to sit back and in his timing allow everything to work according to his will and his purpose.
We were accepted into our current agency in June 2014. In September, we still hadn't heard from them. I remember emailing our rep just to touch base, but was told there was no couple matching our criteria. During our waiting period, there was a huge sense of peace over Brooks and I. We were content knowing that we were being obedient to the Lord's calling and continued to pray for our hearts and patience as well as "that couple" who would eventually go to our agency searching for a surrogate.
October 17th, we got a phone call and as I heard a lady say her name I had to say, "who is this?" It was our rep from the agency!!!!! I mean, it had been months and while the surrogacy was ALWAYS on the back of my mind, I just wasn't expecting that phone call. She said she received a profile from a couple who she thought would be PERFECT for us and wanted permission to release our profile to them! We said YES!!!
feel free to ask questions rather then assume. We are more then happy to shed light on this journey for those who don't know much about it. I'm working on a Most Frequently Asked Questions post as that aspect of this journey is FREQUENT!!!
Due to confidentiality purposes I will be limited as to what I'm able to share on this blog, but really wanted those of you who have kept up with our lives since before we moved overseas to be apart of this and to know what is happening! We have a lot of exciting things happening in the near future and are just so glad to be able to share our news! Send me your email address if you'd like our private updates!
I found myself in a place of excitement and hopefulness. I found my mind thinking of how to educate others and inform others of this "arena" if you will.
So I find myself more and more with a desire to share our news because at some point it will get out. At some point there will be lots of questions. At some point there will be lots of assumptions. Prayerfully, there will be lots of prayer warriors willing to take this journey with us and be a support to us.
Having said that....
I am becoming a gestational carrier.
In other words, a surrogate. If you are unsure what that means... basically, I am offering up my body to a family who has a desire to have a child of their own, but for one reason or another are unable to carry that child themselves, and so I will.
Now, before your mind gets filled with a 1000 thoughts, your eyebrows raise at the screen, and you mouth or speak out loud the words, "what in the world?" I'd invite you to read this post and those to come to get a glimpse of my heart with this experience, attempt to recognize where we're coming from and what our purpose and hope is, learn a little about how to walk through this with us, as well as gain an understanding of what this journey will somewhat be like. I'd also like to invite you to pray. Pray for health- not just for myself, but for the pregnancy. Pray for our intended parents. Pray for their sweet baby or babies that will come about through this.
********
Our story began almost 3 years ago. Brooklyn was born (2012) and we were experiencing life events that affected those close to us and I remember sitting at our dining room table in Saudi when the thought first popped up in my head, "What if I had a baby for them?" Now, at the time, emotions were flaring, we had an infant ourselves, and my mind was shocked that the thought occurred to me, but my heart felt this sense of peace. I let it sit there for months and kept it to myself. Over time, I remember through various conversations and prayer times and other means the thought never left, "what if I had a baby for someone?" I spent time praying about it. I tried pushing it out of my mind. I wondered what that would look like. How that would affect me, Brooks, our kids, our family, our life. But still, I kept it to myself.
I remember the media began reporting stories of various celebrities who used surrogates and realized this is real and it is something people do. I found myself, unintentionally, seeing story after story of families who were blessed with a baby via surrogacy and it always intrigued me. Anytime the thought or idea presented itself I just prayed about it. "Lord, what does this mean? What are you trying to show me?" Over time, my prayer became, "Lord, reveal yourself to me in this! Is this something you would have for me? for us?"
I spent almost a year praying over this idea, thinking of what it would look like, trying to picture myself in it, thinking of this "other family" and what they were enduring at that same time. At this point, I realized that the idea wasn't going away. I found myself thinking of it often and feeling more and more at peace and ease with the idea. One day, it clicked and I realized, "oh my goodness, what if I'm actually suppose to do this?"
At Christmas 2012, almost 11 months since the thought first popped into my head Brooks and I were driving and I told him I needed to tell him something, but I wanted him to hear me out first before he responded, judged, or dismissed me. In that moment, I still remember where we were driving, I poured out my heart to him. I told him every thought I had, every prayer I prayed, my vision and idea of this, I expressed all the uncertainty that came with it, all the what if's of my own, and then all the excitement and hope I felt with it.
I watched his face carefully looking for ANYTHING that would reveal his thoughts. I know Brooks well enough that you have to give him time to process things so I was prepared for the "waiting". He listened and even asked a few questions. I was thankful he saw my heart and was eager to learn the part of this journey I had already taken semi by myself the past year.
Within minutes of me finishing the conversation he turned to me and said, "Lindsey, I think this is amazing and I love the idea!" I sat there in shock actually filled with relief because now I wasn't alone in this, but still amazed that the Lord took a desire of my heart and within minutes it became a desire of my husbands! We both truly believe that was from the Lord.
From then on we talked and talked and talked... "what does this mean? what does this look like? Is there someone we know we can go through this with? when do we want to do this? (mind you at this point the kids were 4 years old, almost 2 years old, and an almost 1 year old).
We felt like the best thing to do was spend a year praying together over this. Researching it. Learning the ins and outs of surrogacy. Learning what it entails, the process, aspects of the good, bad, and ugly. We decided we would seek counsel, we searched the bible for direction, we read up on any and every blog we could find. I learned about the medical process. I watched E! Giuliana and Bill's story. We grasped for every thing we could to learn and become familiar with surrogacy. We prayed A LOT. We prayed for wisdom, guidance, peace, direction, clarity. We prayed for the Lord's timing and ultimately came to a place of if this was merely to be obedient to the Lord's calling, then that's what we were going to do. In our hearts and together we said YES to this process and handed it over to the Lord, summer 2013.
At that time, we finally went to our parents and shared what was on our hearts. At this stage for us, it wasn't whether or not should we, but instead, we are going to do this and we want you to be apart of our journey. After the initial shock wore off on all our parents, ultimately we were embraced with support and love as we began a new phase of this journey.
Fast forward another 10 months (April 2014).... we felt it was time to get the process started. Brooklyn was now 2 years old and we were extremely confident that our family was complete, which made our decision to make the surrogacy happen. I researched and researched agencies, attorneys, programs searching for any that lined up with our biblical standards and our stance of pro-life among other things.
We were put in touch with a private attorney who specializes in Surrogacy in the Woodlands through a mutual friend. We went through the process of applying, interviews, and ultimately accepted into this program. WOW. It was finally happening and we COULD NOT believe it. Within a week of my application being accepted we got a call saying their was a couple who would like our profile. We eventually spoke on the phone and after a few days of praying, just felt like this wasn't the couple for us so we declined going any further.
A few things happened post this decision that we received CLEAR confirmation that we needed to sever ties with this attorney and remove ourselves from her program.
We had received counsel from our current pastor about making sure we went into covenant/contract with like minded people and through that experience we realized we were NOT like minded with the attorney and her business. And that was okay. Lesson learned before we got too deep into the process.
Then, we went back to the drawing board. At this point, we found out about a close friend who herself used an agency in Houston that she connected us with. We were a little hesitant from our previous experience, but also knew we were being obedient and needed to take a step of faith and just trust that the Lord would ALWAYS reveal himself to us and we would allow him to direct who we worked with and what agency we were apart of.
Once again, we went through an application process, we were interviewed, we did everything under the sun you could possibly imagine to show ourselves, and in the end we were accepted into this program.
Now, what you may not know about surrogacy is there are MANY aspects of this that could easily go against core beliefs so we made sure to make ourselves, our beliefs, and our stance known from the beginning regarding choosing life, looking for a heterosexual couple who preferably were believers, and so on. The agency was very upfront with us and shared that while we were an ideal couple for any intended parents to choose from, because of the strict restrictions of who we would be willing to go into contract with and the unwavering stance of NO TERMINATION WHATSOEVER, it would be extremely difficult to match us. We were okay with that. We truly believed that if this is something the Lord has called us to there will be that couple who values life the same way we do, who lives their lives according to God's word and if it meant being in their database for months or years, we were content with that. Brooks and I believe that no part of this is our doing, rather the Lord's work being done through us and we are willing to sit back and in his timing allow everything to work according to his will and his purpose.
We were accepted into our current agency in June 2014. In September, we still hadn't heard from them. I remember emailing our rep just to touch base, but was told there was no couple matching our criteria. During our waiting period, there was a huge sense of peace over Brooks and I. We were content knowing that we were being obedient to the Lord's calling and continued to pray for our hearts and patience as well as "that couple" who would eventually go to our agency searching for a surrogate.
October 17th, we got a phone call and as I heard a lady say her name I had to say, "who is this?" It was our rep from the agency!!!!! I mean, it had been months and while the surrogacy was ALWAYS on the back of my mind, I just wasn't expecting that phone call. She said she received a profile from a couple who she thought would be PERFECT for us and wanted permission to release our profile to them! We said YES!!!
*****************
Thanks for taking the time to read all of this and learn of our new journey. We realize gestational carrier may be something you've only heard of and never experienced with someone directly to you..feel free to ask questions rather then assume. We are more then happy to shed light on this journey for those who don't know much about it. I'm working on a Most Frequently Asked Questions post as that aspect of this journey is FREQUENT!!!
Due to confidentiality purposes I will be limited as to what I'm able to share on this blog, but really wanted those of you who have kept up with our lives since before we moved overseas to be apart of this and to know what is happening! We have a lot of exciting things happening in the near future and are just so glad to be able to share our news! Send me your email address if you'd like our private updates!
No comments:
Post a Comment