We're Going to Disney World

January 2015 I started planning our family vacation to Disney World for August 2015.  This was a trip we talked about taking for years and finally felt like this was a great time to go.  The kids were at perfect ages to enjoy their trip, really take it all in, and understand the magnitude of what Disney World was all about.  I used a Disney travel agent, Dana, with Your Fairytale Vacations, that a friend of mine recommended and I can't even describe how much she helped make our trip truly "Magical".  She was always there to guide me with options and kept our focus on things that were important or mattered for our first trip.  I shared with her attractions and activities I knew we wanted to do and she helped me create a schedule that worked for all of us.  I just can't say enough about how wonderful it was to not plan this huge trip on our own!  We were extremely happy with her!  Not to mention, the amount of personal time she gave to us, whether it was quick texts back and forth or 2 hour phone calls... she was there offering her services!  

So... we decided to surprise the kids with our trip in an effort to prevent all the weeks and days leading up to the trip of hearing, "Are we leaving today? when do we get to go? what are we gonna do?" etc, etc.  However, we also knew our kids weren't really gonna know what Disney World was so we spent the months prior to our trip finding ways to introduce them to Disney World being a place, where characters from their favorite movies and tv shows are, how you can ride various rides, etc.  We would randomly show them Youtube videos about stuff, or every commercial we saw we used it as a teaching moment.  Eventually, we realized if we told them we were going to Disney World they would at least know it was a place that existed and is fun! 

We found it was easier and cheaper for us to drive to Dallas and fly a direct flight via Southwest from Dallas to Orlando!  We drove to Dallas Saturday afternoon and told the kids we were gonna stay at a hotel.  They had no idea the back of the truck was filled with suitcases and that mom and dad had been ninjas all week hiding clothes and packing belongings.  That was extremely fun to do!  We went to bed somewhat early since we had to be awake at the crack of dawn.  It was 6am when we were surprising the kids in the hotel room. Brooks had them in the bathroom brushing their teeth and fixing their hair while I set up their Disney themed clothes and their new travel backpacks on a bed. To help their focus be Disney... I brought every Disney character we had from home and laid them throughout their new stuff.  When the kids walked into the room and saw all their stuff they were "excited". They were definitely more interested in their new gifts then recognizing what they meant.

In all reality- I should have just said, "okay kids we're going to disney world .... get dressed and lets go!"  Instead there were several minutes before the below video of me asking them questions and trying to prompt them which only led to Brooks giving me a gesture of "hurry this along, babe!".  In all honesty, even when we told the kids, their reactions didn't surprise me.  Notice they just stared at me.  Miles eager excitement was solely because he wanted the noise maker I had in my hand. I just rested in the idea that once we got their and they saw Disney World, their excitement would eventually come!  And... it did!!

The kids are pro's when it comes to airplane rides and traveling so we really were excited that the next few hours being a piece of cake and the kids were pumped about their new rolling suitcases and all the fun goodies they had never seen that were inside those backpacks!

We all got to sit across from each other on the same row.  Brooks took the boys and Brooklyn and I sat together.  Domestic flights for us are kinda a joke (and I don't mean that insensitively) so the kids were rockstars when it came to hanging out, being entertained, and playing with their new toys! Within a few hours we landed in Orlando and ended up eating lunch at the airport since we had a little while before check in at our resort was!  At some point horrible, horrible, horrible weather hit Orlando.  You couldn't see outside the airport windows because of how black the sky was and the tremendous amount of heavy rain.  The airport lights went out for 10-15 minute intervals at a time so we just hunkered down a bit.   Eventually, we made our way towards the Magical Express transportation and headed to Disney World, it was still raining, but didn't look like hurricane weather anymore.  

At this point, it was 2pm and we had been up since 5:30am.  It was nap time and kids were a little tired, yet the excitement for what was to come, kept anyone from falling asleep!

Once we arrived near our resort, the rain was continuing to pour!  Mom and dad had to mentally prepare ourselves for all the rain that was to come!

We decided to stay at the Polynesian resort for several reasons. 1)I remember staying their years ago and loved it 2) It's one of the resorts on the monorail, which I just felt like with the kids at the age they were and taking the double stroller everywhere it would make life EASY!

When we got checked in, I had surprise bags for the kids that we gave them filled with their autograph books I made, mickey ears (from their bday parties last year), stuffed animals I bought on sale, and some glow in the dark bracelets, necklaces, and sticks for the evening parades.  I think it brought more excitement for the kids and made them ready for the week!

Eventually, our bags arrived, we got situated in the room, covered up in rain gear and headed out to Epcot to spend the evening!  

The beginning of a new experience and journey

I've found myself wondering for days, wait, actually weeks months on how to write this blog.  I've asked close friends and a few family members, "should I share this on my blog?"  I've gone back and forth with all the what if's? all the misinterpretations that could arise.  All of the the questions that might be asked and really searched myself as to whether or not I'm ready and prepared to open this up to others.

I found myself in a place of excitement and hopefulness.  I found my mind thinking of how to educate others and inform others of this "arena" if you will.

So I find myself more and more with a desire to share our news because at some point it will get out.  At some point there will be lots of questions.  At some point there will be lots of assumptions.  Prayerfully, there will be lots of prayer warriors willing to take this journey with us and be a support to us.

Having said that....

I am becoming a gestational carrier.

In other words, a surrogate.  If you are unsure what that means... basically, I am offering up my body to a family who has a desire to have a child of their own, but for one reason or another are unable to carry that child themselves, and so I will.

Now, before your mind gets filled with a 1000 thoughts, your eyebrows raise at the screen, and you mouth or speak out loud the words, "what in the world?"  I'd invite you to read this post and those to come to get a glimpse of my heart with this experience, attempt to recognize where we're coming from and what our purpose and hope is, learn a little about how to walk through this with us, as well as gain an understanding of what this journey will somewhat be like.  I'd also like to invite you to pray.  Pray for health- not just for myself, but for the pregnancy.  Pray for our intended parents.  Pray for their sweet baby or babies that will come about through this.

********

Our story began almost 3 years ago.  Brooklyn was born (2012) and we were experiencing life events that affected those close to us and I remember sitting at our dining room table in Saudi when the thought first popped up in my head, "What if I had a baby for them?"  Now, at the time, emotions were flaring, we had an infant ourselves, and my mind was shocked that the thought occurred to me, but my heart felt this sense of peace.  I let it sit there for months and kept it to myself.  Over time, I remember through various conversations and prayer times and other means the thought never left, "what if I had a baby for someone?"  I spent time praying about it.  I tried pushing it out of my mind.  I wondered what that would look like.  How that would affect me, Brooks, our kids, our family, our life.  But still, I kept it to myself.  

I remember the media began reporting stories of various celebrities who used surrogates and realized  this is real and it is something people do.  I found myself, unintentionally, seeing story after story of families who were blessed with a baby via surrogacy and it always intrigued me.  Anytime the thought or idea presented itself I just prayed about it.  "Lord, what does this mean?  What are you trying to show me?" Over time, my prayer became, "Lord, reveal yourself to me in this! Is this something you would have for me? for us?"  

I spent almost a year praying over this idea, thinking of what it would look like, trying to picture myself in it, thinking of this "other family" and what they were enduring at that same time.  At this point, I realized that the idea wasn't going away.  I found myself thinking of it often and feeling more and more at peace and ease with the idea.  One day, it clicked and I realized, "oh my goodness, what if I'm actually suppose to do this?"

At Christmas 2012, almost 11 months since the thought first popped into my head Brooks and I were driving and I told him I needed to tell him something, but I wanted him to hear me out first before he responded, judged, or dismissed me.  In that moment, I still remember where we were driving, I poured out my heart to him.  I told him every thought I had, every prayer I prayed, my vision and idea of this, I expressed all the uncertainty that came with it, all the what if's of my own, and then all the excitement and hope I felt with it.  

I watched his face carefully looking for ANYTHING that would reveal his thoughts.  I know Brooks well enough that you have to give him time to process things so I was prepared for the "waiting". He listened and even asked a few questions.  I was thankful he saw my heart and was eager to learn the part of this journey I had already taken semi by myself the past year.

Within minutes of me finishing the conversation he turned to me and said, "Lindsey, I think this is amazing and I love the idea!"  I sat there in shock actually filled with relief because now I wasn't alone in this, but still amazed that the Lord took a desire of my heart and within minutes it became a desire of my husbands!  We both truly believe that was from the Lord.

From then on we talked and talked and talked... "what does this mean?  what does this look like?  Is there someone we know we can go through this with? when do we want to do this? (mind you at this point the kids were 4 years old, almost 2 years old, and an almost 1 year old).

We felt like the best thing to do was spend a year praying together over this.  Researching it.  Learning the ins and outs of surrogacy.  Learning what it entails, the process, aspects of the good, bad, and ugly. We decided we would seek counsel, we searched the bible for direction, we read up on any and every blog we could find.  I learned about the medical process.  I watched E! Giuliana and Bill's story.  We grasped for every thing we could to learn and become familiar with surrogacy.  We prayed A LOT.  We prayed for wisdom, guidance, peace, direction, clarity.  We prayed for the Lord's timing and ultimately came to a place of if this was merely to be obedient to the Lord's calling, then that's what we were going to do.  In our hearts and together we said YES to this process and handed it over to the Lord, summer 2013.

At that time, we finally went to our parents and shared what was on our hearts.  At this stage for us, it wasn't whether or not should we, but instead, we are going to do this and we want you to be apart of our journey.  After the initial shock wore off on all our parents, ultimately we were embraced with support and love as we began a new phase of this journey.

Fast forward another 10 months (April 2014).... we felt it was time to get the process started.  Brooklyn was now 2 years old and we were extremely confident that our family was complete, which made our decision to make the surrogacy happen.  I researched and researched agencies, attorneys, programs searching for any that lined up with our biblical standards and our stance of pro-life among other things.

We were put in touch with a private attorney who specializes in Surrogacy in the Woodlands through a mutual friend.  We went through the process of applying, interviews, and ultimately accepted into this program.  WOW.  It was finally happening and we COULD NOT believe it.  Within a week of my application being accepted we got a call saying their was a couple who would like our profile.  We eventually spoke on the phone and after a few days of praying, just felt like this wasn't the couple for us so we declined going any further.

A few things happened post this decision that we received CLEAR confirmation that we needed to sever ties with this attorney and remove ourselves from her program.

We had received counsel from our current pastor about making sure we went into covenant/contract with like minded people and through that experience we realized we were NOT like minded with the attorney and her business.  And that was okay.  Lesson learned before we got too deep into the process.

Then, we went back to the drawing board.  At this point, we found out about a close friend who herself used an agency in Houston that she connected us with.  We were a little hesitant from our previous experience, but also knew we were being obedient and needed to take a step of faith and just trust that the Lord would ALWAYS reveal himself to us and we would allow him to direct who we worked with and what agency we were apart of.

Once again, we went through an application process, we were interviewed, we did everything under the sun you could possibly imagine to show ourselves, and in the end we were accepted into this program.

Now, what you may not know about surrogacy is there are MANY aspects of this that could easily go against core beliefs so we made sure to make ourselves, our beliefs, and our stance known from the beginning regarding choosing life, looking for a heterosexual couple who preferably were believers, and so on.  The agency was very upfront with us and shared that while we were an ideal couple for any intended parents to choose from, because of the strict restrictions of who we would be willing to go into contract with and the unwavering stance of NO TERMINATION WHATSOEVER, it would be extremely difficult to match us.  We were okay with that.  We truly believed that if this is something the Lord has called us to there will be that couple who values life the same way we do, who lives their lives according to God's word and if it meant being in their database for months or years, we were content with that.  Brooks and I believe that no part of this is our doing, rather the Lord's work being done through us and we are willing to sit back and in his timing allow everything to work according to his will and his purpose.  

We were accepted into our current agency in June 2014.  In September, we still hadn't heard from them.  I remember emailing our rep just to touch base, but was told there was no couple matching our criteria.  During our waiting period, there was a huge sense of peace over Brooks and I.  We were content knowing that we were being obedient to the Lord's calling and continued to pray for our hearts and patience as well as "that couple" who would eventually go to our agency searching for a surrogate.

October 17th, we got a phone call and as I heard a lady say her name I had to say, "who is this?"  It was our rep from the agency!!!!! I mean, it had been months and while the surrogacy was ALWAYS on the back of my mind, I just wasn't expecting that phone call.   She said she received a profile from a couple who she thought would be PERFECT for us and wanted permission to release our profile to them!  We said YES!!!

*****************

Thanks for taking the time to read all of this and learn of our new journey.  We realize gestational carrier may be something you've only heard of and never experienced with someone directly to you..
feel free to ask questions rather then assume.  We are more then happy to shed light on this journey for those who don't know much about it.  I'm working on a Most Frequently Asked Questions post as that aspect of this journey is FREQUENT!!!

Due to confidentiality purposes I will be limited as to what I'm able to share on this blog, but really wanted those of you who have kept up with our lives since before we moved overseas to be apart of this and to know what is happening!  We have a lot of exciting things happening in the near future and are just so glad to be able to share our news!  Send me your email address if you'd like our private updates!

Oklahoma Visit

Labor Day weekend was full for us.  It started Thursday night (Gavin's actual birthday) and we drove to Oklahoma to visit Micah and Steph while they were stateside.  It's so important for us to see them when they are in the USA so we let Gavin miss school on Friday even though it was the first week of school.  The Sperling's had a busy schedule as well so we planned to spend Thursday night, Friday, and Saturday morning with them and we were busy!!  Between four wheelers, cow viewing, riding the gator, exploring, and running around our kids had a blast playing and being with Jake!!  After kids would go to bed, we got to stay up and hang out.  

I brought a cake with us to celebrate Gavin's birthday.  I forgot candles so we used matches instead!  He loved it!

 

  

Of course, we took a trip to Eskimo Joes for lunch!

 

We LOVE spending time with the Sperling's and can't wait for baby Hailey to arrive!!  

Gavin's 6th Birthday

Gavin turned 6 on August 28 and we had a special time together as a family with him.  I have officially learned my lesson in that the end of the summer, the beginning of the school year are BUSY for us and for the 2nd year in a row Gavin didn't have a birthday party with friends (mom fail) because time just got away from us.  That didn't stop him from LOVING his day all about him.  The morning started off with his birthday breakfast, the kitchen decorated, a special lunch, and cupcakes brought to his school.  He got to open all his presents that night with us and couldn't open them fast enough.  He loved showing things off to Miles and Brooklyn and happily shared his gifts with them.  

We are loving this age with Gavin.  He continues to show maturity, has a strong ability to care for others, shows compassion, and LOVES being responsible!  He makes us laugh daily and sometimes has the funniest expressions ever.  He loves school and has SOARED in first grade.  He enjoys sports, reading, and his love language is tied between gifts and quality time!  We love our big guy!

Gavin was surprised with a set of drums and fell in LOVE!  He had been asking for drums for months because he wanted to play for worship at our church (how sweet) so we went with it.  Eventually, our hope is to get him lessons and we're praying he has a passion for this instrument years to come! 

First Day of First Grade

Gavin started first grade this year in Borger, Texas.  Most of the grades are split up into different campuses so this year he moved to a new school, Gateway Elementary.  He was super excited about moving up and going to the "big school".  Throughout the summer when we would talk about him going to school he often prayed that he would have friends in the same class, while mommy prayed for a GOOD teacher (we had a rough one in kindergarten). 

The night before school, Gavin picked out his clothes, made his lunch requests, set his alarm clock- he asked us if he could start waking up on his own- we didn't oblige, and semi went to bed early!  As usual, we had cinnamon rolls for breakfast as a first day of school treat and off we went! 

I had a baby sitter come and stay with the two little ones at home so my morning time could be focused and devoted to Gavin while taking him into school.  He was able to meet his teacher and see his classroom a few days earlier at meet the teacher, but I still wanted to be able to walk him in!  

Brooks met us at school and we brought Gavin in together!  You could tell Gavin had mixed emotions-- it was a new place and he wasn't all that sure about it, yet he was excited and eager to go!  After a quick picture he hugged and kissed Brooks and walked in his class.  It took a minute of me watching to make sure he got his backpack put away and found his seat that I realized I didn't give him a hug and a kiss.  I debated on going into his room, but decided against it and instead held back my tears, said a prayer for him, and walked away.  

 

After sitting in the pick up line for an hour, we got Gavin and he said his first day was GREAT!!  Two of his really good buddies are in his class (such an answer to prayer) and he loves his teacher!  He talked all afternoon about all the new rules, the new places (gym, cafeteria, and huge library) and couldn't wait to go back tomorrow!

Here's to a great year in first grade! 

Paleo- our new "lifestyle"

After almost a year of dealing with gestational issues with our kids, in February I pretty much came to my wits end in trying EVERYTHING to heal our little ones.  After Miles' procedure in March I began doing research and trying to look into things that I could do once we got his results to help move forward and prevent any symptoms from continuing to occur.  I REALLY, REALLY was desperate to help my kids get better!!

SOOOO... after some research, our whole family started the PALEO diet.  It's known to heal the inner lining gut more then any other "diet".  It's also known as the caveman diet and essentially you don't eat refined sugars, grains, or dairy.  But let me say... the only way you can make it through this "lifestyle" is to look at what you CAN have versus what you CAN'T have.  

In order to all of a sudden change our normal eating habits it took major planning, focus, and reorganizing the pantry.  I ordered a few cookbooks, learned all the approved foods, and kept a close eye on foods to avoid!  We pretty much went cold turkey starting out, but it wasn't THAT bad.  The two little ones already didn't get dairy, so it was just us and Gavin that moved to Almond Milk and lost cheeses and yogurts!  Giving up sweets was the HARDEST for me, but I have found many Paleo sweets and am quite content!!  It was an adjustment losing the bread, pastas, and potatoes but we've found that we really like sweet potatoes and cauliflower pulsed into rice isn't THAT bad!

Basically, we eat LOTS of fruits and vegetables and all various types of proteins!

I was extremely nervous about switching the kids over, however, I'll be the first to admit... I haven't fully moved them over.  The ONLY dairy they can eat is string cheese and even then they get 1 a week.  They get their calcium from Almond milk.  They do get some grains, but it's the "healthiest" version of it.  For instance, instead of Cheetos, they get All Natural, White Cheddar Cheetos.  Instead of white bread, they get Whole Grain, Whole Wheat, Sugar Free bread!  I just choose healthier versions of what grains I do allow them to have as well as sweets.  However, when it comes to meals I don't cook extra sides in order for them to have mashed potatoes or fries and they are learning to LOVE and even enjoy more vegetables and fruits and will eat twice as much protein now that starchy sides aren't on their plates.

We've been extremely impressed with the types of foods they have accepted and willingly eat such as: spaghetti squash, asparagus, carrots, cucumbers, even eggplant!

Now, don't get me wrong.. I'm not psycho when it comes to all foods.. we still eat Ranch, ketchup, or even coffee creamer.  I just feel like the 1tbs of those foods we would consume won't hurt us that much, not to mention, I feel like we have made HUGE strides when it comes to what we have omitted, that it's okay to have a few little things here and there.

I must say... I have seen a HUGE improvement in all 5 of us!  Everything from energy boosts, weight loss, digestive healing along with overall improved health.  It's been awesome!  Even the kids attitudes and somewhat calmness has occurred from eating good, healthy foods.

I've started branching out and cooking creatively based on foods I know we all enjoy and continue to try making good food.  Paleo is hard in the sense that you can't just open up a box of something to cook- it takes planning and preparation!  Everything is pretty much made from scratch and requires cooking not just heating up.  It's taken a little while to adjust, but I'm getting better at it everyday!  Looking forward to continuing Paleo and seeing what all it can do for us!

Brooklyns First Haircut

Before: she just loved being in the salon and was ready to "look pretty"

 

During: she was locked down in serious mode and shriveled down with caution and uncertainty

 

After: she loved it and kept twirling her hair around!

 

July 14, 2014- 2 1/2 years old

Lake Charles, Ritz Hair Salon, Melinda Tilley